


Trembling For Your Love

by smallchittaphon



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bands, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-08-05 15:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallchittaphon/pseuds/smallchittaphon
Summary: The jitters aren't the ones Jaemin's used to.





	Trembling For Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, I'm so sorry if this sucked. I tried to start fics for every other prompt I really liked the band au i was given and then this happened. I'm so sorry!!

Pre-show jitters never seize to stop for Jaemin. They’ve been performing for years and every time, without a doubt, he gets acid reflux, his palms sweat and there’s a dull pain in between his eyes. Usually, he has Donghyuck to calm him-- he’s always had a way to sway Jaemin’s emotions and Jaemin guesses that’s why they aren’t talking to each other now. Only when it’s necessary and the band has picked that up.

Jaemin can see Donghyuck in the corner with Renjun, practicing runs before they go on and oh, how he longs that he could help again. Jeno kicks his shoe and Jaemin gives him a glossed over look. “Relax. You’ve played these songs millions of times.”

Jaemin gives him a tired smile,” I know.”

Mark comes in the room, a loud and jittery energy just coming off him. “We’re on in 10.”

 

-

 

Things starts going downhill when Jaemin takes Donghyuck out for a little pre-tour celebration before they start off of their 8 month journey. It’s not like he didn’t invite the other members but everyone else just happened to not show up. So really, his hands are tied. “It’s okay, we can still have fun.” Donghyuck smiles and it pulls Jaemin into him more.

Jaemin’s always had a soft spot for Donghyuck and if anyone can see it, then there’s no way Donghyuck can’t. Donghyuck commands and shines and loves and _yes_ , Jaemin lets him come into his life and nestle into every corner of his heart. So being on a non-date date seems overwhelming.

Donghyuck leads them through the city, into a park and here they are, sitting. The lake is still and the fairy lights start trickling on one by one as the sun sets and _god_ , Donghyuck looks ethereal in warm lights. His cheeks are pink, the early fall air nipping at his skin and Jaemin fixes Donghyuck’s scarf for him. Donghyuck smiles fondly at him and Jaemin’s hands still. _Don’t do this_ , Jaemin thinks while his ears ring. If there were no other perfect moment to kiss Donghyuck than this, then why should he let this pass?

Donghyuck giggles, “What?”

Jaemin shakes his head, sliding closer till their thighs touch, there’s warmth on warmth and Jaemin’s fingers curl around the fabric of Donghyuck’s scarf. Donghyuck comes to rest a hand over his wrist and Jaemin realizes then that the mood has shifted, Donghyuck’s attentive to that and he’s letting it happen. Jaemin huffs, leaning in and Donghyuck closes his eyes. He’s going to do it, he’s going to kiss Donghyuck.

Donghyuck huffs against his lips upon first contact, thinning out under his own before he opens up and Jaemin eases into it. He’s so so warm, so pliant and cooperative and then Donghyuck groans. He pulls away fast and it’s cold around them once more and Donghyuck stands up.

“I gotta go.”

 

-

 

Really Jaemin’s the reason there’s a rift in the bands dynamic. The members don’t know what happened, save for Renjun, and they don’t want to pry in case that worsens it somehow. It’s like everyone’s walking on eggshells around Donghyuck and Jaemin and no one can figure what will happen next but they can only hope it’ll work itself out.

“5 minutes till, we should start making our way down to the left stage.” Jeno says, getting up and Jungwoo follows suit. Jaemin huffs, grabbing his drumsticks and a bottle of water before scurrying after Jeno. He’s been trying to give Donghyuck space in hopes that he’ll come to him when he’s ready. Jaemin’s guilt eats at him every day and he’s taken to writing more for the band. They’ve gotten one of the newer song under their belt just for tonight and that makes Jaemin’s nerves enhance by tenfold.

Donghyuck walks not far behind, Renjun by his side and Jaemin catches his eye when he tries to see if Dongyoung is following them. Donghyuck leans over to whisper into Renjun’s ear and Jaemin turns away, embarrassed for no reason other than a gut feeling that’s seems close to jealousy.

“Hey, can you ask the other band to play just one more song?” Donghyuck asks and Dongyoung gives him a look. “I really gotta go to the bathroom.”

Jaemin can’t see Donghyuck’s face but by the look in Dongyoung’s eyes, he’s going to try his best to stall. “Okay.”

Donghyuck does the unthinkable then, his hands are far too hot on Jaemin’s wrist and he tugs. “Jaemin’s coming with so, it shouldn’t be _too long_.”

Something else registers on Dongyoung’s face and Jaemin doesn’t like the way his skin crawls at that. “You have 5 minutes.”

 

-

 

After the kiss, Jaemin stops seeking out Donghyuck as frequently as he’s use to. It leaves a weird feeling in his chest and the band starts picking up on the ‘cold war’ between the two.

Jaemin goes to bed wondering if kissing Donghyuck wasn’t even a good idea but then his heart jumps at the thought of the kiss. The feeling of comfort and home when they had kissed and Jaemin convinces himself again that kissing Donghyuck was a good idea, will always be a good idea but it was bad timing. _Yeah, bad timing_.

Renjun comes to him with pressing questions not even a week after, “Why?”

Jaemin gives him a dead look and continues to eat his sandwich. “You already know why. I haven’t been trying to hide anything.”

Renjun huffs, “Okay then. Why now?”

Jaemin stops chewing, eyebrows furrowing and ears heating up. “What do you mean’ why now’? Why _not_ now?” Ridiculous, he doesn’t know why finally acting on his feelings after being told to do so for who knows how long is getting himself called out for doing so. Renjun softens then, sighing as he sits down next to Jaemin and lets the silence between them fester before talking,

“How,” Renjun taps to table, mouth thinned out. “How are you doing?”

“I feel like I’m alone again.” Jaemin says, taking another bite and Renjun stares at him. “He misses you.” whispers Renjun.

Jaemin stops chewing and gives Renjun a sideways glance. “He just needs time. We all need space before we go on tour and this isn’t the kinda stress we need now.” Jaemin clenches his jaw, “Nice to know my feelings were never a priority.”

 

-

 

Jaemin fears what comes next. Donghyuck doesn’t look back at him, once, the whole time he’s dragging him further back into the venue. They pass the bathrooms and then they’re in a… _janitor's closet?_

There are 3 things now that Jaemin is so certain of in this moment.

One: The space between his face and Donghyuck’s is far _too_ small. He can feel Donghyuck’s breath on his bottom lip, he can see the reflection of himself in Donghyuck’s eyes and the shimmer of Donghyuck’s body lotion on his neck.

Two: Being here in an enclosed small space with the object of your affection and of your heartbreak is overwhelming. The air is tense and stiff and Jaemin feels like he’s choking, like cotton balls are pushing their way up his throat when Donghyuck’s fingers graze the back of his hand and then his hand rest tight around Jaemin’s wrist.

Three: A part, deep down in Jaemin’s mind tells him to kiss Donghyuck again. He’s still so very much enamored with Donghyuck-- evident by the way he thinks the way Donghyuck look in this shitty, too-warm-toned overhead light is still somehow the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

Donghyuck opens his mouth, his fingers twitching against Jaemin’s skin and by his side. Jaemin lifts his hand to squeeze his hand, his own hands shaking as he does so and Donghyuck seems to notice. “I’m sorry.” Donghyuck whispers and it doesn’t sound like Donghyuck. It sounds like a tired version of him. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you and I know you probably resent me no–“

“I don’t think I have the willpower to ever resent you, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck stutters when Jaemin finally meets his eyes. He’s making himself look smaller, he probably _feels_ small with the way Jaemin is pinning him with his gaze. “I thought you would hate me for just leaving you after we kissed.”

Jaemin likes the way Donghyuck says ‘ _we_ ’ as in it wasn’t a selfish act unreciprocated that Jaemin has been hung up on for a couple months but something that had been mutual mulled over. “I don’t hate _you_. I hate the timing of it. I admit it was bad timing.” Jaemin says, letting go of Donghyuck’s hand.

Donghyuck nods, “It was bad timing.” Finally, something they’ve clear the air for. Something finally solid in a sea of uncertainty between the two. “But, that doesn’t mean I regret the kiss. It was lovely.” Donghyuck blushes, obviously rosy cheeks under the shitty lighting but Jaemin still thinks it’s the cutest.

“You don't?” presses Jaemin.

“Regret it? Heck no. What I regret was running away when I could’ve been kissing you this whole time.”

Jaemin’s head spins, “What?”

Donghyuck giggles in the same heavenly way he did the night of their first kiss and he leans forward just a tad to kiss the corner of Jaemin’s lip. The skin scorching after and Jaemin goes tingly.

“Ultimately, me running away was kind of very rude. I mean I literally ran away because I didn’t know what to do after a kiss like that and by the time I realized I messed up, it seemed like I had been giving you the cold shoulder when I had just been processing it in my mind far too deeply and it was j—”

Jaemin surges forward, hands reaching for Donghyuck’s cheeks and his breath shortens. Donghyuck looks him straight in the eye, not a sound between them or either of them making an effort to advance. It’s a nice stillness and Jaemin’s heart burst out his chest with swing limbs as he leans forward to fast, kissing Donghyuck harsh. Donghyuck groans, squirming under him hold until he’s comfortable and he’s tilting his head, mouth parted so their lips sloth together better and Donghyuck moans.

The tense in Jaemin’s shoulders disappears in a matter for seconds and is replaced with a tingling feeling shooting down his spine as Donghyuck’s slides a warm palm under his tank top to give a tender squeeze of his side.

“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck grumbles in between kisses and Jaemin sighs. “Don’t be.”

  
( _The fans talk about how intense Donghyuck sang that night. The raw emotion oozing off him and how his stage presence felt enveloping. Donghyuck boosts about it when he waltz into Jaemin’s hotel room, making himself at home in Jaemin’s lap as he shows him the tweets. Jaemin smiles at him amused, like they’ve been together for years and being like this is second nature. In no time, Donghyuck forgets his phone in favor for Jaemin’s lips as Jaemin learns quick that Donghyuck likes touching his stomach as they kiss. Donghyuck leans back and kiss the corner of Jaemin’s mouth, “I’m falling for you, Jaemin.”)_


End file.
